My Mom and I braved the ice storm and walked across the street to wish my brother a happy birthday. When we arrived my Uncle Donald was there too. My Uncle Donald has always been a shit. When I was a little girl he'd tease the living hell out of me. When he still lived with my grandparents I'd call to talk to my Gramma and he'd answer. This is how most of our conversations would go when he would answer the phone:
Me: Hi, can I talk to Gramma.
Donald: Who is this?
Me: It's Wendy! Can I talk to Gramma?
Donald: Well what do you want?
Me: I just want to talk to he, give her the phone ya jerk.
Donald: *hangs up the phone*
As the only girl in a family of all male cousins I was always picked on but he just had an unholy delight in targeting me. It's partially because of him that I'm the smart ass jerk that I am.
Thankfully, he has turned his fuckery attention over to my niece, Montana.
So today the conversation started that he was bugging her because she had a ribbon in her hair and her response (because she's my girl and talks back!) was "well you don't have any hair!"
So he proceeded to tell her that while yes he was balding a little bit that he was transplanting the hair from his ass onto the top of his head, that's why the hair on the top of his head was curly. Also, that he couldn't do it all at once because it hurt to "harvest" the hair.
On my suggestion he's thinking about patenting the process. My Uncle, he's not only the President of the Redneck Hair Club for Men, he's a client.
Me: Hi, can I talk to Gramma.
Donald: Who is this?
Me: It's Wendy! Can I talk to Gramma?
Donald: Well what do you want?
Me: I just want to talk to he, give her the phone ya jerk.
Donald: *hangs up the phone*
As the only girl in a family of all male cousins I was always picked on but he just had an unholy delight in targeting me. It's partially because of him that I'm the smart ass jerk that I am.
Thankfully, he has turned his fuckery attention over to my niece, Montana.
So today the conversation started that he was bugging her because she had a ribbon in her hair and her response (because she's my girl and talks back!) was "well you don't have any hair!"
So he proceeded to tell her that while yes he was balding a little bit that he was transplanting the hair from his ass onto the top of his head, that's why the hair on the top of his head was curly. Also, that he couldn't do it all at once because it hurt to "harvest" the hair.
On my suggestion he's thinking about patenting the process. My Uncle, he's not only the President of the Redneck Hair Club for Men, he's a client.
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