It's funny, I had no hesitation walking outside in the middle of the night, because the night has always been my friend. When I was growing up I'd walk home from art class in the pitch dark, there are no street lights in the country, and I would memorize every star. It was probably the only time I felt completely safe and completely me. There was no judgement in the night, just stars gazing fondly down upon me. It was peace. And that's why moving here wasn't so strange for me, because those same stars are here - the ones that bore witness to my tears of frustration and listened to my hurt, anger and sadness of my younger years, things I never shared with anyone else. There were wild animals galore, I could hear wolves howling and had seen bears in the area, but I never feared them. Just like here, I'm sure there are animals but I don't fear them - people, yes, animals not so much. I digress, but it's 3 am, cut me a break.
The moment I stepped out of my door and walked down the steps the full glory of the northern lights showed themselves to me. That little brush of green I could see from my window extended and arched over the house across the street and danced and crackled in a broad strip to south over the hospital. There have been many surprises for me here in the north that have challenged what I thought life in the north would be and this is one of them. The northern lights move. They dance and shift across the sky and while I've mostly seen the green colour but tonight I saw red dancing in amongst the green. I say dance, because that's the only word I can think of to describe what I see....and the energy that I feel when I see them. And there is a sound they make, that again I have no words to describe but it's there.
I walked to the end of my street and that's when I saw the red in the lights, it was so vivid and it shifted and danced in the green, and how I wished I had a tripod or the ability to capture what I saw. I felt such frustration that I couldn't capture it on film to show you all - because that's what I wanted, to share with you all this beauty - this magic. It's been a gift to share with people this journey, to share myself after so many years of hiding away but I realized that tonight, it was for me. These stars, they shone for me, the northern lights, they danced and sang for me. I am a blessed, beloved child of the Universe and I deserved this moment and this beauty.
I turned left and followed the road to the service road, alongside the utilidor where there were no street lights. I climbed that hill, my feet crunching in the snow and didn't stop until I was in complete darkness, and I sat down in the snow and I watched the lights and looked at the stars.
There is a legend that the aurora borealis are spirits and ancestors who come to visit and sitting there I think that is very true because I felt very close to my grandparents there.
It was a very spiritual moment for me, I don't pray, I'm not religious but I thanked the Universe for bringing me here, for giving me this life, this glorious display and tonight, when I talked to the stars it was only of love, healing and light. And this song, it keeps playing in my head, and I smile, because I know it's true.
Look at the stars,
look how they shine for you,
and everything that you do.
- Coldplay
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