Feminism & Porn

I'm going to start this blog off by saying that I know that some people (who shall remain nameless) are going to have their panties in a huge bunch reading this (I only mean one person - and they know who they are I'm just trying to be discreet here) so for that person I can only say the following:   You sent me the picture above knowing that I would laugh -and I did - but now you're going to be upset that I'm talking about sex and masturbation well guess what?  I like sex and I masturbate - often.  You don't have to like that I'm open about it but it is part of me - what makes me Wendy.   I am loud, I'm obnoxious, I'm highly inappropriate, slightly x-rated but I'm also sweet, funny, loving and kind and the best friend you ever had and you know what?   I'm a package fucking deal and if you don't accept every little imperfect, beautiful piece of me then that's your loss I'm good with me and I'm gonna keep being who I am.

Okay, so now back to feminism and porn - I pondered this on my drive into work today, I had a lot of time since it took close to two hours to get to work this morning.  You're probably wondering how I can be a feminist and love porn - easy, I'm not a feminist.  I guess that some would argue that as a woman living in Canada where women have it relatively good as opposed to other countries that you could say I don't believe in feminism because I haven't really faced any of the issues that women in other countries have and maybe that could be partly the reason.  I think really though when I first heard the term in high school the definition went something like this.....


Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women.

See, it's the use of the word EQUAL that I have a problem with, you say equal rights and opportunities and then there is this exclusivity that it is only for women....well I look around me every day and I see men who don't have rights and opportunities equal to others just as much as I see women in the same situation. 

So I'm not going to call myself a feminist - I want equal rights and opportunities for every man, woman, child, transgendered person, gay person....whatever flag you fly I want you to have all the opportunities and rights that everyone else does.  I want people to have choices and the opportunity to live their lives in whatever they see fit - as long as they aren't trying to harm others in the process.  I want every person to have that feeling that who and what they are is beautiful and a blessing.   I want people to have a chance like I have to experience a life so full of adventure and pure awesomeness that they are blown away every day. 
 

When it comes to pornography I know that feminists can go either way on the issue from it being degrading or a form of violence against women to certain kinds of pornography being empowering.  For me it's not that black and white - like most things in life.   Are all pornographers exploiting women?  Some are, sure, but ALL of them?  I don't think so.  Are all people in porn addicts who have low self-esteem and that's why they choose this profession?  How the fuck do I know?  Maybe some people who are in the adult entertainment industry do it because they just get off on fucking in front of a camera and getting paid shit loads of cash for it.  The whole thing is that when someone gets on their soap box and condemns everything with a sweeping wave of their hand I think they're missing the point.  I guess for me I just don't want to become so rigid in my thinking and in my being that I can't look and see every side of an issue and be logical about it.  My Dad is rigid, about everything.  To the point that if you don't believe what he believes then you are stupid or wrong.  Ewwwwww.......I just had a post that started out talking about porn and then my Dad, I'm totally creeped out now.

Anyway, back to my post.

So for most parts I dig porn, it helps me get off - well not foreign language ones - mostly because I get so wrapped up in trying to figure out what the hell they're saying that it kinda ruins the mood for me.  Which I realize the ridiculousness of given that porn is not known for it's plot lines or character development but I find myself  wondering what the woman in the broken elevator said to the stranger next to her that made him take her in his arms and ravish her standing up against the elevator door - I mean porn is a teaching tool for me what if I was ever trapped in an elevator with a hot stranger?  Am I supposed to just wing it when I try to seduce him?  I think not!